How to Improve You Social Life
You must learn in which people to invest your time wisely, so that you can keep them for longer and then increase the number of good friends around you.
Many people, although they do not truly have the goal of changing their life, insist on talking about their problems, because they recognize that, by decreasing the emotional burden, it is easier to live with the problem they carry. The action of going through self-therapy also requires a certain lowering of the mental stress to be conducted effectively.
“There can be no transformation of darkness into light and apathy in motion without emotion” (Carl Gustav Jung).
Reason why calm ambient music can help us relax and achieve therapeutically goals faster. On the other hand, considering that no one suffers from emotional burdens alone, but rather from what results due to an interaction with the environment, namely the social environment, it is important to learn how to control it in some way, through the awareness of its many dynamics, and in order to minimize negative effects in the future.
One of the ways to carry out this control consists in thinking about the people we share our life with. Because, in essence, there are only two types of people: Positive and negative. However, most people can only perceive this difference at an emotional level, which is far from being enough.
In order to make a better judgment, consider the following aspects:
— Which people make you feel capable and which ones make you feel incapable?
— Which people make you smile the most and which ones smile the least?
— Who makes you feel confident in yourself and who makes you feel less confident?
— Who makes you feel intelligent and who makes you feel useless?
— Who allows you to help and who refuses your help?
— Who shrinks you psychologically and who encourages you the most?
— Who supports you in personal projects and who laughs at your ideas?
— Who seeks to help you understand yourself and who chooses to lie to you?
— Who is around when you need the most and who is away during these moments?
— Who is always ready to talk to you and who is only available when he or she wants? Once you answer these questions honestly, you will be able to more easily identify which people have promoted your emotional problems, and which ones have helped you solve them.
Then you will be able to recognize that the vast majority, or even all the people who should help you when you are in need, are actually making you sick or keeping you sick.
They do this through a variety of ways, namely:
- Invalidating you or pointing at your weaknesses to make you feel less able;
- Distracting you from your goals by validating only your weaknesses;
- Reinforcing your negative emotions while ignoring the positive.
If we decide to focus on changing our social structure in a positive way, this habit will also be significant to strengthen us psychologically while increasing our energies in order to then help us solve our existential problems. We can also learn to be careful with those who do just the opposite, by learning to control the time we spend with them and to be attentive to their conversations and our responses to these same conversations.
We must never accept negative criticism or comments about ourselves that downgrade us. And we must also certainly never feed them negative responses. A negative conversation must be compensated with a positive awareness of our own worth. If we can’t do this, we must rethink and analyze our own potential. For we can only be hurt by negative comments when there is no positive awareness of our identity.
Such a positive consciousness is central to change, but, more than anything, to a positive experience, which will lead to happiness.
As professor and psychologist Albert Bandura said,
“Self-belief does not necessarily guarantee success, but self-disbelief definitely promotes failure”.
In view of a positive awareness of our value and potential, we must have a clear picture of what we intend to transform.
